The Appointment Where I Asked, “Is This Necessary?”

Content note:
This story includes discussion of a dental surgery recommendation and reflections on patient agency within a routine healthcare appointment.

I went to the dentist expecting to talk about my bottom wisdom teeth.

They were impacted and putting pressure on my back molars. I understood that they needed to be surgically removed. That made sense to me. I respected the dentist’s expertise and the recommendation.

Then I was told I should have all four wisdom teeth taken out — including the top two.

My upper wisdom teeth had grown in years earlier. They weren’t causing pain. They weren’t infected. They weren’t crowding anything.

When the dentist explained that they might cause problems later; that they wouldn’t line up properly and could be harder to clean.

I remember thinking: Maybe. But maybe not.

There’s a subtle power dynamic in medical appointments. The clinician speaks with certainty. You sit in the chair.

But I asked anyway.

“Is this really necessary right now? These haven’t caused any problems. And removing them will cost significantly more.”

The dentist explained their reasoning again. I listened. I considered it.

And then I said, respectfully, that I would move forward with removing the bottom teeth, but I’d prefer to leave the top ones for now and monitor them.

There was no conflict. No drama. Just a choice.

That appointment stayed with me — not because anything went wrong, but because something went right.

I trusted that expertise and personal agency can coexist. I asked a question. I weighed the information. I made an informed decision.

Sometimes care isn’t about automatically saying yes.

Sometimes it’s about being invited — or allowing yourself — to say, “Help me understand,” and then deciding what feels right.

Both provider expertise and patient agency matter.